“I need to ‘try him out’ before I know whether I could marry him or not.”
“We need to live together first so I would know whether I could stand him.”
These statements are normative today. It is ingrained in our culture, our media, and even our very own parents seem to agree with it. The opposite concept of abstinence and separate living are both “old fashioned” and something only our grandparents did. In our modern day like to make sure he or she is ‘good in bed’ and need to evaluate his or her housekeeping for months or even years (even decades) before they pass our “test of selfishness.”
However, the other option, the “old-fashioned” one, is the design that God intended for a blessed society. All other methods will find themselves in discord as blatantly evident in our day.
Not only is the discord prevalent in our day, but somehow we continually fail to make the correlation between the two (promiscuity and discord). This discord often presents itself in the same manner:
-Girl finds a guy attractive, lets get together one day (Guy wants to have sex)
-Girl feels a sense of security so shares emotionally and sexually with guy. (Guy has sex)
-Girl has a sense of confidence and is “in love” (Guy is already starting to shop around again as he has fallen “out of love”)
-Girl is pregnant (Guy basically has no attachment, since they are merely dating, and bails out)
-Girl is angry that he is leaving and says that she will raise the baby on her own, though in reality will often live life wrestling to keep men, battling with custody/financial issues with “dad,” all weighing heavy on the grandparents who were simply hoping to enjoy being a grandparent, not take on the task of parenting again.
-Baby is raised without father or with (an)other father figure(s)
-Girl is angry that he is leaving and resorts to suicidal ideation or even attempt.
-Girl is slapped with a mental diagnosis and baby is raised by grandmother or moved into foster care.
-(Optional: Guy realizes he cannot find another girl so he “heroically” returns to the girl and fills the void until another opportunity presents itself to bail.
Here is the catch: Even after the above scenario takes place, the girl continues to mock the “old fashioned” model of marriage and the guy continues on his journey of adolescent, meaningless, sinful procreation. A culture filled with this example ridicules the very warning that would have prevented it. We reap what we sow. The dignity that women boast about, and ironically at the same time desire, is the same dignity they give out freely and openly to those who aim to abuse it. And abuse will happen. It is a self-esteem in concept only and not in practice. Conclusion: Their “dignity” is a facade.
This same facade ultimately gets passed down to the next generation, the very generation that these mothers promise to give a better life to. At first we are upset that our daughters are becoming like us, but in order to pass the blame we find relief when we run across “16 and Pregnant” while channel surfing. Now the idea arises that we will have a cute grandbaby to play with again and all is selfishly well………yet unwilling to think ahead to the hardship you are by default placing them under because of your example. Is there anyone at all wishing to stop this? Is anyone willing to accept the responsibility for their actions?
Eve didn’t. Adam didn’t. They passed the blame. And you do to……right over the man who then passes it again. And all the while our next generation catches that foolish football and runs with it.
But underneath this facade is misery. You may present yourself as tough and joyful, but deep down you are not, and often when that comes out, no one is there to listen. Your dignity only scratches the surface. The reality is that you are made in the image of God. Yet instead of seeking him, you suppress the truth.
“For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened” (Romans 1:18-21).
The “old-fashioned” has been suppressed and our modern immorality is our darkened hearts. When Adam and Eve passed the blame, that image, as well as all mankind after them made in the image of God, became distorted. All have tried to pass the blame. The only one who did not pass it was Christ, the sinless lamb of God.
For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God (1 Cor. 5:21).
The Bible says we are saved by grace through faith in Christ alone. Subsequently we are given the Holy Spirit who conforms us into the image of Christ. We are conformed through obedience through the power of the Holy Spirit. We are:
“to be renewed in the spirit of [our] minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Our distorted image of God is to be slowly renewed into true righteousness and holiness.
So stop passing the blame. Stop suppressing the truth. Your only true rest from this is found in Christ. He forgives your sin and guilt. He took the blame for you. Repent and put your faith in the Son today. Then walk “in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called” (Eph 4:1)
Stop looking to Hollywood and the music industry. Stop living a facade. Turn to Christ and find the dignity only he can give, and has given.